Happy Wednesday!

     The holiday season can be intense, right? 

     Sure, we’re technically “on vacation” — and yet, between the hustle of cooking and decorating and last-minute shopping (not to mention the sometimes-complicated dynamics around the table), it can feel like a lot.

     Never fear: the second annual Unreasonable Hospitality Gift Guide is here. 

     Over the years, I’ve found one reliable antidote to the madness of the holidays: applying some creativity and intention to how I press pause, so I can connect with the people I care about. 

     Do that, even for just a few moments, and the hustle feels manageable — cathartic, even. 

     For lots of reasons, those precious pauses feel even more necessary than usual this year. So that’s our theme: each of the gifts in this guide are meant to help the recipient (and maybe the giver, too!) shift back into a more grounded, analog mode. (It’s also why so many of them are games. Their singular ability to transport us to a slower, sweeter, more playful time is one of the reasons I love them so much.) 

     So: five gifts, in each of five sections: Books, Under $75, Over $75, Food, and Stocking Stuffers. Plus, a bonus way to give back. 

 

BOOKS 

     A couple of months ago, my dad asked me if I’d heard of this slim book. The concept: a knight, fearing he may not return from battle, writes a letter to his children — a guide to what gives life meaning and beauty. 

     I hadn’t. “I’ll get it for you,” he said. 

     “I can order it!” 

     He insisted: “Don’t — please. I want to give it to you.” 

     I am so glad I put my phone away, because the copy my dad gave me was annotated: the passages he’d found most meaningful were underlined. It might be the sweetest way to give the gift of this beautiful book — or any book that’s important to you. 

 

     Jason Polan was a brilliant artist and illustrator and creative instigator who set out to draw every single person in New York. 

     He never drew me, but I have my own Jason story: years ago, I was walking past The Strand bookstore in New York when I happened to see one of his posts on Instagram: “I drew a foot with six toes and stuck it into one of my books at the Strand. Get there first, and the drawing is yours.” I ran in, bought the book, and framed the drawing; it’s had pride of place everywhere I’ve lived since. 

     That foot is in this book — a collection of art sent by and to Jason before his death in 2020 —  but it’s the treasure hunt that continues to inspire me. Unless I’m flat out running to my gate, I always take a minute to sign all the copies of Unreasonable Hospitality at the airport bookstore with the airport call sign, then post about it. If I add a little whimsy to one person’s travel day, I’m honoring Jason. 

     This book is a wonderful gift: a love letter to creativity and community and the U.S. post office, and a great goodbye to an artist who left us too soon. 

 

     Don is one of my closest friends in Nashville, and someone I’m proud to collaborate with; he’s not only a former Welcome Conference speaker, but a colleague on Coach Builder, the program through which people get their Unreasonable Hospitality certification. 

     But I knew of Don long before I knew him because this is one of my wife Christina’s favorite books. In fact, she’s the one who first gave it to me. 

     The concept is simple, but powerful: You are the protagonist in your life, and you can edit the story any time you want. I now keep a stack of these in my office to give away because A Million Miles is not only fun to read; it changed how I think about my life.  

 

     Want to give someone the world’s best matzo soup recipe — as well as a masterclass in how to grow a brand while paying respect to more than a century’s worth of storied tradition?  

     Niki is one of the great restaurateurs in New York City, and with her cousin Josh, the fourth-generation owner and operator of the venerable Jewish appetizing store Russ & Daughters. Their stunning tribute to the family business would make the perfect gift for anyone who thinks the ideal Sunday morning starts with a bagel, Nova, and a schmear.

 

     If there’s another theme to this guide, it’s friendship; many of these gifts were either given to me by people I love, recommended by them, or made by them... like this one. Yes, I'm shamelessly promoting a good friend’s book, but it’s here because it’s terrific. 

     Kevin is one of the most prolific and exceptional restauranteurs in America, and this is his memoir, the story of how he found himself through service. It’s funny and honest and a rip-roaring read. If hospitality has changed you, it’ll hit. 

 

     One more! As many of you know, I’ve also got a new book coming out next year. You can’t buy this until April, but I’m so excited about it I’m dropping a pre-order link here.  

 

COOL STUFF UNDER $75 

     We always have a jigsaw going on the coffee table during the holidays; there’s no better way for families to enjoy being together while working on a shared project — all without needing to say a word out loud. 

     These are special, and not just because they’re great to look at. What’s the most anticlimactic part of doing a puzzle? The moment when you’ve finished, of course, and have to break your hard work back up into little pieces so it can go back into the box. 

     True to form, theory11 took the worst part — and turned it into the best part. I’m not going to give away the trick; suffice to say, with these puzzles, finishing one is just the beginning of the game. (The one I love best is the Keith Haring puzzle, which will be released on Black Friday.)

 

     When we’re all together, after everyone else has gone to bed and the house is quiet, my dad and I will often share one last drink together at the very end of the night. The conversations we’ve shared over those late-night amari are some of my most cherished memories — a perfect example of one of those press-pause moments when all the crazy from the day drops off you, and you think: “Oh, right. This is the point.” 

     I was introduced to this amazing Calabrian amaro by Stefano Secchi, who’s cooking some of the best Italian food in America at Rezdôra. Give it to someone with whom you’re craving connection and conversation; wait for the house to fall silent, and go deep. 

 

     One of my favorite afternoons of the last year was spent with some close friends at a Nashville Sounds game. I was rooting for my new home team, sure — but because I wasn’t so invested in who won or lost, our conversation took center stage. 

     These minor league teams really energize their communities, and the games are one of the most wholesome, accessible, family-friendly ways to spend a day out in the fresh air. (The names alone — The Rocket City Trash Pandas! The Akron RubberDucks! Hartford Yard Goats! — are worth the price of admission.) 

     Two or four tickets to a local team makes a perfect gift for just about anyone — throw in a gift card to the ballpark, so both the sunshine and the seventh-inning hot dogs are on you. 

 

     Some of the best gifts are ones you can give away! For the last couple of years, we’ve made candles in the weeks leading up to the holidays so we can send one home with anyone who drops by during that celebratory month. It’s become one of our sweetest traditions. 

     The best part is hitting our local thrift store to find the perfect orphaned vessels — a delicate teacup, one-off glassware, or hilarious mug — to house the candle. 

 

     Oxford’s designs are as beautifully made as they are beautiful, which is why I was so psyched to collaborate with them — not to mention that these gorgeous, heavy felt pennants are made in downtown Buffalo. (Go, Bills!) 

     These are a limited run, and ship starting the week of 12/8. And if this one isn’t your cup of tea, spend some time scrolling the Oxford website. Whether you go classic or design something custom, I guarantee there’s something fantastic here for the trickiest person on your list. 

 

COOL STUFF OVER $75

     Three of my grandparents were gone by the time I was born; the last one died when I was still a baby. I’d have loved to have known them — and I’d do anything to read, in their own words, the stories of their lives and the lessons they drew from what they experienced. 

     Storyworth makes it easy for your loved ones to pass these stories down. Weekly prompts arrive by email or voice recording, and Storyworth compiles the answers into a book. You can even choose the questions.

     Get a subscription for a parent or grandparent, or anyone whose life you’d like to know more about — and feel good knowing it’s really a gift for the generations to come. 

 

     Some of the most demanding guests I’ve served in my hospitality career now sit in high chairs around my kitchen table. So I was happy to unlock a universal crowd-pleaser: The Pizza Picnic — aka eating pizza on a blanket in the yard. 

     My friend Tom gave me the perfect picnic blanket for these al fresco Daddy nights, and wrote this rave: “Nicely weighted (won’t blow away in the wind); sturdy; waterproof; rolls up easy. Works on grass, at the beach, and even inside for movie night when the kids eat dinner while watching.” 

     Frankie and Sonny give it two thumbs-up. (Me, too: it’s washable!) 

 

     Is it ridiculously over the top to open champagne by slicing the neck of the bottle off with a sword? 

     Yes, yes, it is. But isn’t that what some celebrations call for? 

     If there’s someone on your list who loves a ludicrously outsized gesture, a champagne saber makes perfect sense. The sabering itself is surprisingly easy to learn (with care — chill the neck! This Alton Brown video shows you how.) And once they’ve got the hang of it, this ritual that will reappear at every graduation, promotion, on the occasional random Tuesday — plus, the glass collar that pops off makes a great keepsake or ornament. Pair this with your favorite bottle of bubbles. 

 

     Earlier this year, I suggested we all start using our "good plates" as my mother-in-law did to elevate an everyday Wednesday night dinner into an occasion worth remembering. It was so fun to see your good plate pictures come pouring in! 

     Some of you regretfully noted that you’d gotten rid of yours — or your parents had before they’d passed them down. I’m happy to inform you: it’s never too late! 

     This is the perfect gift for the person in your life who’d enjoy elevating a weeknight dinner, even (or especially!) if you’re the one sitting across from them. And what better time to “make it fancy,” as my daughter Frankie likes to say, than the holidays? 

     Because so many people are getting rid of their wedding china, there are great sets at your favorite vintage store. Or invest in some by a classic maker like Wedgwood or Spode; Pickard’s are American-made, and good enough for Air Force One.  

 

     Have you ever noticed that nobody ever says no when you ask if they’re up for a game of backgammon? 

     The rules are easy to learn, but challenging to master; a game goes quickly, but lasts long enough to completely change your channel. Just the sound of the dice knocking around in that leather cup is enough to lower anyone’s blood pressure. 

     Sure, there are cheaper boards out there — I chose this heirloom-quality set because it’s outrageously elegant, and because it’s the one my dad gave me for my fortieth birthday.  

 

FOOD

     Last year, I did the food section of this guide myself. But if you’re married to one of the best pastry chefs in the world, it feels irresponsible not to pass the pen. So here are five delicious gifts, courtesy of my favorite person in the world: Christina Tosi.

 

     "Bronze-cut, slow-dried, small batch, by an amazing family. Insane shapes that hold your favorite homemade or store-bought sawce."

 

     "Epic stocking stuffer, or an incredible candy bowl moment. You’re sure to find your best friend glued to whatever chair they’re closest to."

 

     "Nothing says Christmas like this. Except maybe (embrace the cheesiness) Chex mix. This holiday, I partnered with two of my favorite brands, and the result is twelve cookies in flavors like Popcorn Ball and Gingerbread Cloud, in the cutest Snoopy tin. On sale 11/28!"

 

     "For a next-level tabletop moment: a love letter to the art of the jiggle, where pastry meets party and cocktails meet curiosity (there are NA stunners, too) by the most singular individual, Jena Derman."

 

     "You can still open a house account at this Dayton, OH hometown hero. These steaks come with Ball jars of “house dressing” and Pine Club’s signature stewed tomatoes. Old school always rules."

  

STOCKING STUFFERS

     Seeing the world through the eyes of my kids is such a gift! 

     We grew pumpkins from seed with Frankie last year, and watching her face as she struggled to reconcile the big fat jack-o’-lantern that emerged from the tiny seed she’d poked into the ground was, for me, a much-needed reminder of the miracles all around us. 

     While any seeds will do, these ones are special: Chef Dan Barber of Blue Hill at Stone Barns, who spoke at The Welcome Conference in 2018, partners with seed breeders, farmers, and chefs on this collaborative (and delicious) line of seeds and produce. 

 

     I love the wheeling and scheming that goes into a game of Monopoly, but we don’t play that often because a single round can take hours. This little deck of cards helped me to fall back in love with one of the greatest family games of all time. 

     With Monopoly Deal, you get all the thrills and devastations, all the treachery and exultation and dealmaking drama of the original — except you’re done in fifteen minutes, and kids as young as eight can play. 

 

     As you’ve probably gathered by now, I really love games; this is my first foray into making one. My team put together two of my favorite activities — playing cards and conversation decks — and collaborated with theory11 to create Dialogues, a card deck with a twist. 

     Deal and play your favorite game, but first, call a face card — and whenever that face card hits the table, pause to answer the question on the card. One deck offers lighthearted icebreakers, while the other invites deeper conversations. Both allow you to play the games you love with the people you love spending time with — with moments of genuine connection woven into the flow of play.

 

     I often say that those of us in hospitality have the opportunity — and a responsibility — to make magic in a world that could use more of it. Here’s your chance! 

     This one comes from my friend and co-conspirator Brian Canlis, who loves magic as much as I do: "Want to blow someone’s mind? The trick is based on a classic technique that goes back over a hundred years. It never fails to elicit squeals of disbelief — even though it’s so easy to perform, even a young kid can learn it. Perfect for the non-magician who wants to add a little magic to their day."

 

     Some of the best cookies in the world made their debut in my home kitchen, but there is something about a simple holiday cut-out with frosting and sprinkles that can’t be beat. (Christina agrees.)  

     Tuck a cookie cutter into the toe of everyone’s stocking, and once you’re done opening gifts, come together to make a batch — decorating them is the only thing more fun than eating them. 

 

A WAY TO GIVE BACK

 

     Giving back isn’t just in the spirit of the holidays — it also feels really, really good. So let’s selfishly get together and make a difference. 

     Neighbors Together fights to end hunger and poverty in Brooklyn. They serve 500-800 meals a day — more than 3,000 meals a month — to people in need, and the demand for their services is higher this year than it’s ever been. A donation of $25 provides 5 hot meals to folks in need.

 

     Happy shopping! Gift-giving is a terrific way to show the people in your life that you see and appreciate them; keep that in mind, and you can’t go wrong. I can’t wait to hear all the creative ways you come up with to press pause, so you can focus on what really matters. 

 

Have a good service,

Will